How to handle moving out if you are strongly attached to your parents

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By

Bridget Houlihan

on

Jan 21, 2021

Teenagers are divided into two types. One: those who dream of moving out from their parents, starting an independent life, meeting new people, going to the parties, hiring write my papers services and starting a part-time job. And the second type is those who are frightened by it all. For the latter, moving out makes them sad and panicky, and they have these thoughts and feelings:

  • "I won't have emotional support"
  • "I won't get enough care and attention"
  • "The quality of life will decrease because there will be less pocket money"

This often happens when a person has been in a warm domestic "cocoon" for a long time, rarely leaves his or her comfort zone, and hasn't met new people in a long time. Strong attachment can also be a consequence of overprotective parents: when adults protect the child from everything in the world and impose the idea that home is the only safe place. In this case, children usually grow up unfit for life, with a fear of everything new and unfamiliar.

Fear of moving often occurs in introverts - people who do not really like a rush and extra fuss. After all, you will have to establish contact with roommates (if you move to a dormitory), go to parties, and completely rebuild a familiar way of life.

And moving can also be stressful for those whose parents are manipulators. Fear is caused by subsequent clarification of the relationship with Mom and Dad. After all, you will have to hear all sorts of things: "You do not love us," "What about us without you," "You will forget us and will not even call," "You're leaving when you are so needed here?".

Let's figure out what to do in different situations.

If there is an overwhelming longing

Sometimes it's hard to understand the reasons for homesickness, and you just want to get rid of the feeling. The main thing is to understand that your feelings are completely natural. You have left your father's home, where you have spent your whole life. This is a turning point: now you are an adult who is responsible for yourself - you are your own parent.

Homesickness is normal. You yearn for a place where you were safe and secure, where support and care were always waiting for you. But separating from your parents is as natural as depending on them up to a certain age. Now you're starting a new and exciting life full of experiences and unaccustomed experiences. Allow life to manifest itself in all its colors!

Live through the sadness and sorrow

It's important to let these emotions flow through you, or they will come back again and again. Give yourself time to adjust to your surroundings and reflect on life. Leave your homework to the best college essay writing service and take your time to be homesick. Recall the nicest moments of your childhood, and how you felt at home. Realize the main thing: you're still welcome there, and you will stay with your parents, just not so often.

It's necessary to miss, but not for long. Otherwise, it can turn into a drawn-out overflow from nothing to nothing. If you feel sad, allow yourself to indulge in it, but only for 15-20 minutes (or more). Set the alarm, and as soon as it rings, wipe away the tears, and get down to business.

Think back to what you were so much irritated about in your relationship with mom and dad (everyone can find a couple of points). And realize that now you have the opportunity to get rid of irritants while maintaining a good relationship with your family. After all, it's not for nothing they say that you have to love your parents from a distance.

No time for idleness!

To keep the sadness from stretching on for months, you need to fill your life with things to do. After all, sadness indicates free time, which you can devote to reflection and self-pity.

Do something nice for yourself every day, so you can feel the missing care. You'll also find that you're doing just fine without parental care:

  • take a hot bath with scented oils;
  • cook a delicious, beautiful, and healthy breakfast;
  • take care of your body;
  • read your favorite literature, etc.

And also fill your life with bright emotions, it's a great way to take your mind off sadness:

  • get a massage;
  • go to a trampoline center;
  • ride the slides at the water park;
  • go on rides;
  • go up to the observation deck in the city.

If life becomes pleasant and positive, there will be no reason to miss the past. After all, you feel very good in the present and have things you didn't have when you were living with your parents. Enjoy it!

Keep in touch with your friends

Warm friendships can cure all sorrows. Even if you're an introvert, do not neglect communication with loved ones: they can listen, support, give practical advice and distract from bad thoughts. If you feel the onset of sadness, do not sit at home alone studying or crying into the pillow. Check the essay writing service reddit reviews and hire a writer for your homework if you don’t want to drop out from your academic performance, take your best friend for a visit or a walk, play board games, or watch your favorite shows. You can also have a cooking battle, pajama party, or karaoke night.

You create your life here and now, only you decide what it will be filled with: a longing for the past or a positive outlook on the future. Take it for granted that you go on, you build your path. A lot of discoveries in different spheres and new relationships with interesting people are waiting for you!

Strengthen your nervous system

You are going through a positive, but difficult period. Now you especially need to take care of the health of your nervous system, strengthen it and bring it into harmony.

First of all pay attention to positive psychology. This direction will help you to shift your attention from negative thoughts to positive ones and to adjust your brain to the positive. With the help of simple techniques, you can improve the quality of life, become happier and react to stimuli less painfully.

Take care of yourself in detail:

  • stop listening to sad music and watching melodramas;
  • avoid socializing with negative people;
  • don't read the news if it upsets you;
  • make sure you get enough sleep and eat right;
  • exercise, it makes people happier.

If you are seeing signs of mild depression, check out our self-help tips.

What to do if parents are manipulative?

Sometimes the fear of moving out has nothing to do with longing at all, but with the negative reaction of overly attached parents. They can lash out at you with anger, guilt, or even pretend to be sick. All because they want you to stay in the family home.

The choice is yours: succumb to manipulation or start your own, separate life. Either way, you will face negativity:

  • stay with your parents - you will indulge their desires, and stop developing as a person;
  • move out - you'll listen to all sorts of things in your address: "You're ungrateful", "Then don't run for help!", "Don't you feel sorry for your mother at all?"

Unfortunately, you will not be able to influence mom and dad's behavior, you can only change your attitude toward the situation.

We wish you a happy independent life and a lot of discoveries! And leave all your sorrows behind, you do not need to drag them with you.

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November 25, 2021
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